True story. I'm out with my best friend and we see what can only be described as a new unidentified mammal species of some sort. This creature/mutant was pushing a stroller wearing chocolate brown leggings, to the point that her ass was eating them, a tight leopard print top ( I believe- Jen correct me here if I'm wrong) and some other atrocity on top of it. I have to ask, do people just refuse to own or even look in a mirror before leaving their house? I mean really people, when your ass is literally taking a bite out of your pants there is a problem there. Especially when you are a size 14 and your clothes were bought in baby Gap.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for girls of all sizes wearing cute things but please for the sake of my eyes and my stomach wear the correct size!! Just because you have skinner legs than the 300 pounds of gut resting on top of it does not mean you can wear pants that are a size 2 and a top that is so tight the stitching's are screaming to keep it together. Sadly this is an all too common sight.
If your buttons are the only thing between you wearing a shirt or starting a strip show please rethink it. Its called double sided tape fyi. I understand that we all want to wear a small, or not have to be judged when we are in the fitting room and have to yell out, "Hey can you please get me the pants in the hefty section" Trust me, I get it. I just don't understand why some girls think yes I will wear leggings and a top so small it could belong to my barbie. I want my ass crack to look like its a piranha just chomping at my pants. Yes, the bigger the muffin top the better and lets not forget about the massive camel toe. Sexxayyy. Not.
Muffin tops are NOT an accessory. It's not sexy or appealing. Being a muffin top owner myself I fully understand how hard it can be to keep that baby under wraps but I manage. Go the next size up, and if it bothers you that much cut out the label. Would I love to wear skinny jeans and a cut off top, hell yeaz, do you see me doing it, hell nahhzz. Reason being, I own a mirror. I am fully aware of all the meat I gotta control before I walk out the house. Let me tell you, it aint easy. Sometimes I gotta bust out aerobic moves just to get my pants zipped, nah mean kid?? Word.
Dress for the body you have not the one you want. Plain and simple. If you don't care about how you look can you at least have some concern for the people who have to look at you? I mean without warning it can really turn a good lunch into a splatter on the street. Clearly that is just a waste of what once was a good meal. Do I then have the right to charge you for not only my lunch but for the eye surgery I will need to get that burnt image out? I think not. Straight inconsiderate.
If your worried that guys will judge you because your wearing "big girl" clothes think again. When a guy is getting down to the bizz-nass he could care less what size your pants are. Just as long as they end up on the floor. If it's already gotten to the point where you are getting some, I'm sure he has a good idea of what he is working with. Big or small. But when he has to bust out the jaws of life to just get your painted on pants out of your ass, its not worth the poke anymore. Instant penile death. On a side note also, just because your boobs grow with you doesn't not mean you have big boobs. You have fat boobs. Totally different. So wearing a corset because you listened to the salesgirl who lied and said "Yes the small will shrink your waist and hide your stomach and make your boobs look great" just makes you look like a fatty stuffed into a way too tiny corset with her fat ass titties flopping all around. Here's a thought, buy it in your size. Wow what a revelation! You will look so much better and probably be able to breathe.
I wear what fits because I try to keep the rolls and jiggle at a minimum and I would greatly appreciate for all of you who don't, please start.
In the words of Shanaynay.."You look toe up from da flo up make me wanna cha-row up""
Thank You.
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