I am a self admitted animal lover. I have always had pets and most likely always will. I currently am a proud mama of two cats, Edward and Bella. They are my little babies and I take care of them better than I do myself at times. They are cute, furry and all around adorable.
There also always seems to be a man in my life. The man will change in time, the level of importance will change as well but nonetheless, a man always seems to be around. This man isn't always taken care of by me or cute and adorable. Sometimes I pray he will leave my life and other times I wish he would be closer. (For you slow people by "man" I mean all men..Thanks)
I used to say that I would rather be around animals all day than people, because animals can't talk. They love unconditionally and aren't evil. Now I wonder, what's better having a boyfriend or having pets??
When you think about it, its almost the same. I'll use Edward and Bella to explain. Edward, like some men I've known, is quiet, strong, sweet and cuddly. He also is scared of everything and pretends to be tough but we both know a centipede could kick his ass. He is all looks and sad to report, not much going on upstairs. This is what my friends and I refer as the "Your so pretty" syndrome. Do you know how many men I've dealt with who also suffer from this syndrome? The statistics are saddening.
Bella, on the other hand, is small, loud, crazy, very good looking but an all around trouble maker. She drives me crazy but then knows how to butter me up so I let her sleep in my bed. Do I even need to say how many times I've had some dude do that to me?? Again the statistics are saddening.
When you have a man, you tend to clean up after him. He comes over, takes a shower and leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. He leaves his used dishes on the table, he doesn't make the bed in the morning and never makes enough coffee for the both of us. Bastard. Like men, my cats make messes all time. They spill the water bowl, move my rugs all around the house, knock down towels, and open my cabinets for shits and giggles. Even in the bathroom they are the same, they go in do their business and walk out without so much as a spritz of lysol, I walk in and BOOM...smacked in the face with the aroma of a rotting intestine. Fucking rude.
Like my cats, some men are hairy, have bad breath, toe nails that could use some attention, and pretend like they dont hear you when you call their name. Both fart and then look at you surprised like hmm what was that. I will however say that there are certain things a man can do that clearly no pet can. And I don't care how much peanut butter you put on yourself, its not the same...(joking ppl joking....sick freaks) Of course I am referring to taking out the trash, putting gas in my car or serving me a drink when I am simply too lazy to get off the couch.
Weighing both pro's and con's for cats and men alike I must rule that for me, cats are wayyy better than a boyfriend. They don't talk, you can say whatever you want to them and they won't judge you or hold it against you. I can come home with a new cat and they will still love me and never leave. They are grateful for all the little things I do. They are always home before me, sleep in my bed every night, and I have no worries about stray street cats creeping. They don't complain and most importantly they don't lie or play head games. It is exactly what it is with them. Cute, cuddly, playful and unconditional love 24/7. No surprises or wondering if its real.
And I know what your thinking, wow this bitch is bitter. Well, Damn Fucking Skippy. Herrrrooo I've been dating since I was 16 I'm exhausted already.
Moral of my story, Cats are cool Men are Lame. Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment