Welcome

My 1st blog. yay. Insert enthusiasm here....

I am starting this blog to vent, clear my mind, and hopefully meet people who have lives a lot more fucked up than I do. Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Natalie aka Guava otherwise known as The Black Sheep. I'm 27, technically unemployed, single and I live alone with my 2 cats. Fucking hott. I am an aspiring writer, mainly a mix of sarcastic comedy with deep emotional undertones. I'll wait while you process all of this.

I am of course single by choice. (Tears flowing immensely, snorting and heaving to ensue shortly) I am most likely single because I love to belch, drink beer, curse like a sailor, have an obscene obsession with the word "Cock", I dress like a dike, love orange men with steroid addictions and did I mention I'm unemployed and have 2 cats? Sexaayyy. Single men please stop knocking down my door.

I used to work for a stock company so I'm not a total moron but I'm sure many would argue otherwise. I don't have a normal 9-5 anymore which in the beginning was great but now it's verging on insanity or a mass suicide of me and my cats. Don't go calling the cops now, I'm just saying.

I'm the middle child, somewhere between Jesus and Omega. I am sure I disappoint my family on a daily basis, so that's sweet. I mean how can you compete with the Lord our Savior and the best Dominican rapper of all time. I was kind of fucked at birth. Thanks Mom.

Well in a nutshell, this is me and if you haven't fallen asleep stay tuned. I may suck more than I do now!