Stop n Shop Horror

Okay so picture this....Staten Island, 2010 (yeah thats right, totally Sophia Petrillo stye) I am entering Stop & Shop, my local grocery store, with my list in hand and coupons ready to go. I don't need much really because well I live alone and how much can one girl possibly eat? (And this is the part where you think, well with an ass as big as hers I'm sure she can pack it in. FYI, I am mentally calling you an asshole right now)



So I grab a cart and make my rounds. It's crowded and I'm tired, just recovered from some stomach virus I had (thanks, and you know who you are!) My plan is to grab what I need from the list and get out as quickly as possible. As I zoom through the aisles I come down the pet food/supply aisle and see a sign marked "Friskies Moist Cat Food, 10 for $3" So of course I go nuts and buy 30 of them. Keep in mind the following items were already in my cart:

-lactaid milk (yes I am lactose intolerant)
-2 loaves of bread (buy one get one deal..sweet)
-water
-24 pounds of litter
-Stouffers lasagna serving for 1

So I go the the register and without really looking start placing my items on that belt thingy to be scanned and I hear, "Natalie"......I look up in horror to see that my ex from high school was in line in front of me. Also keep in mind that I am wearing black velour pants, grey flip flops and a black t-shirt that says "X-Rated Adults Only" in big red letters. I havent done laundry and well its all that was clean. Dont judge.

On a normal day I wouldn't care if I saw my ex from high school because really, we dated for a few months and I was like 16 but I think it was the combo of my bad outfit, unkempt hair, and product choices that made the image all that much better. He said how are you doing? I said ummmm great thanks, as I'm pulling out the 30 cans of cat food, my lactaid and my loser meal for one. He then proceeded to pay and leave, in shock and horror of how I have turned out and most likely thrilled to have dodged that bullet. I'm sure there was that sensation of "Damn I feel bad for whoever she's with now".....Awesome.

Sometimes it takes the littlest things to make you see how truly crazy and weird you seem to others. No matter how many times I go food shopping or how well someone knows me, anytime I step into the supermarket and only need a few items and they consist of lactaid, cat litter, cat food and a frozen meal I am doomed to be judged as a lonely spinster with a dozen cats who has an issue with diarrhea. Sweet life.